Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Rhinestone Cowboy

It's hard to be a grownup. Never is this more apparent than after one moves 2,000 miles and then must set up official government documentation to prove it. I won't go into detail about the day, but the easiest part of it was renewing my military ID. For those not initiated into military life, the DOD is not known for operational efficiency. It surprised today and getting a new ID was quick and painless...and only good until November. Sigh.

After that, it was on to the DMV. And I thought Illinois was bad. It was an hour and a half wait to get a piece of paper--a temporary driver's license. This was embarassing to pull out at Papa Murphy's when the 18-year-old asked for my ID with my credit card purchase. More on that in a moment. The worst part of getting the license was that the waiting had to continue at another building in a totally different part of town to procure new license plates. And then only for the Jetta, since Jeepy is still technically owned by CarMax and we didn't have what we needed to get plates (or "tags" as they are called out here) for that. We didn't even try for the Glamper.

The day of waiting through calls of, "Now serving E346" when our number was F108 called for pizza and beer. At Papa Murphy's, we ordered a couple of pies to ensure a stock of leftovers for tomorrow. DeLite Thin Crust Pepperoni for me and The Cowboy for Dr. J. The young counter gal asked Dr. J what kind of Cowboy he wanted and I giggled and said, "Rhinstone."

She had no idea what I was talking about. I knew I was a grownup, but when did I get OLD??

Sunday, June 12, 2011

If You Don't Love it, Don't Move It

Judging by the 10 pages of email spam I had to delete, it's been a few days since I touched my computer. It looks like Facebook is still around, though, so I thankfully didn't miss any huge interwebs changes. Phew.

I realized that I never posted our final mileage tally from the journey. For those who don't feel like going through past blog posts to add it up, I have done that for you. It was 2,171(ish) miles, and took from Monday afternoon until Friday just before noon. Jeepy had an oil change about a week before we left and now is just 300 away from needing another one.

It handled the drive like a champ, though, which is more than its predecessor could have handled. Jeepy was an unexpected Illinois purchase due to Dr. J's wine-colored Mercedes SUV (aka the Hoopti and the Poopti) taking a very expensive poo on the side of a Chicago freeway. At the time, we were not happy about getting a loan for a new vehicle. Having been through the past week, however, I continue to believe that the universe helps us out in unexpected ways. The Hoopti would never have made it out of Minnesota.

The reason I haven't touched my computer in a few days is that my fingers, hands, forearms, lower back, legs, and feet have been busy helping to unload 16 feet of semi trailer space. Dr. J and I have managed to handle the unloading all by ourselves with only a few minor bruises and scrapes (self-inflicted!) and very little outward swearing. We touched the back of the trailer wall today, which is big milestone. Dr. J will handle the few smaller items left in there tomorrow while I am at work, and we will be rid of the trailer by Tuesday... for two years anyway when we have to move again.

Which brings me to my main point: If you don't love it, don't move it. Chances are, the thing you don't love was purchased to serve a need in your old space. You never loved/liked the thing, but it was useful in that time and in that place. DO NOT MOVE THIS THING, whatever it is. Because that need is unlikely to exist in your new space, you will not be able to find a spot for the unloved thing. It doesn't go with the rest of your stuff and will always look like it was an afterthought.

This dawned on me today while working around two couches and a chair I have despised for quite a while. All of our other stuff seems to find a natural and lovely home for itself in our rented 1912 bungalow, but the unloved items refuse to fit. They will not be making the next move.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Pooped

We arrived at 11:30 a.m. after only about two hours of the final drive. We were fortified by a giant breakfast from Perkins and real coffee that didn't come from a gas station or a campground.

All fur kids are alive, healthy, and sniffing out the new surroundings. We managed to unload eight of our 16 feet of semi space, and had a delicious deli dinner from the market three blocks away. Dr J bought some beers, but we couldn't find a bottle opener. No matter. The wine was safely packed in the Glamper. I ALWAYS know where the wine is.

We haven't checked Jeepy for a final tally, so that will come tomorrow. Here are Thursday's amazing numbers:
* Mileage: 653.9 miles (Ouch. No wonder we can hardly move at 8:48 p.m. the next day.)
* Average MPG: 11.6
* Actual hours of Jeepy moving: 11:44
* License plates seen: None that we needed. We will miss getting 50 plates in a week, but I can handle the failure.

Today's fun fact: The eastern side of Washington feels like the moon. We have only been near the Sound and the coast, so it was wild to see such different terrain over there. Can't wait to do a wine tasting on that side to see what all the fuss is about.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Montana: It's Really, Really Big

If' you've ever spent 12.5 hours traveling in one day, you know the special place your mind goes to protect you from a world where the clown from "It" comes alive and terrorizes you forever. "We all FLOAT down here."

EEP.

To start, here is a breakdown of Wednesday's stats:
* Average MPG: 12.7 (We're practically going green after Tuesday's windy fiasco.)
* Miles driven: 479.6
* Times stopped for gas: Several

The largest part of the past two days has been Montana, and there is just not a whole lot going for it besides its size. Size matters, but we prefer our states proportioned to less than a day's ride. Any more than that is overkill, and frankly, is really not enjoyable for anyone. Dr. J and I ended up whistling, checking our watches, imagining Montana to be something more manageable like the tip of Idaho, and when we finally pulled out of it early this afternoon, decided to chalk it up to experience and NEVER do that again.

We haven't checked Jeepy for miles today, but I believe it was over 600. They weren't terribly easy miles, either, since it was raining and we had to push through several mountain passes. The worst/coolest was the Continental Divide. Dr. J tells me this is the point where precipitation decides whether to flow to the Pacific or the Atlantic, depending on which side of the divide it falls on. (He's chock-full of factoids, that one is.) We crested the Divide at 6,393 feet elevation and 38-degree temps. Being Midwesterners unused to magestic vistas, we were actually glad that it was raining so we couldn't see just how far up we were. Our stock of clean pants runs low.

Next, we had to get through the Bitteroots. The elevation at the Idaho state line was 4,860. The skies were clearing, so it felt higher.

The last leg was about 45 minutes before we got to Ellensburg, WA. The Columbia River Gorge did not have any dreaded signs for Chain Removal, nor did it have Runaway Truck Ramps. Easy peasy.

Today's states:
1. Hawaii
Can you believe we got Hawaii? We have tomorrow left to get Delaware, North Carolina, Vermont, and Arkansas.

Stuff we wished we had stopped to do:
Nothing. JUST. GET. US. OUT. OF. THE. CAR.

Tomorrow will be the end of the travel portion of this journey, with about two hours left to drive to Tacoma and have Dr J finally see the house we rented. I'll keep posting news of our adventures and adjustment to life in the Pacific Northwest.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Are You Familiar with "Town?"

How did people travel in days of yore? And by "yore," I mean before cell phones. We haven't had cell reception since mid-South-Dakota YESTERDAY and it makes me feel untethered. What if friends want to exchange hilarious texts with me? What if my parents are wondering if we are being trampled by angry steer on some unpaved road? What if The Glamper has a blowout and goes careening off the side of a cliff, dragging Jeepy with it and crushing Dr. J. and me in the process while sparing the fur kids? Who will feed them come 5:00 CST?

All actual thoughts from this morning.

Yesterday's stats: 537.6 miles in 10.5 hours
Average miles per gallon: 8.7
Stops made for gas: 37

Today was much easier, both in terms of mileage and hours spent. We wanted to get to Bozeman, Montana, but decided to cut it an hour short and stop at a KOA in... (hang on while I check the paper they gave me) ... Big Timber. It is very much like the last two KOAs we have visited. Not only can we hear every vehicle on I-90, but we are disturbingly close to a set of very busy train tracks. Those who know me well know my extreme fear of trains. Well, mostly I am afraid of train wheels cutting off my legs a la "Valley of the Dolls." Either way, they have the power to paralyze me physically and mentally. Should be a restful night.

No matter since we had what will probably end up being the highlight of the trip about two hours ago. We checked into our campground, but before "docking" for the evening, decided to get Jeepy a drink in town to be ready to hit the road early in the morning. We stopped at some gas station that Dr. J. had actually visited during his time at the Crow Nation a few months ago (story for another time). While he poured shot after shot into Jeepy, I ran through the rainbow-streaked puddles to the combination convenience store/quilt emporium/gun shop to ask for directions to the nearest pizza place. The lovely young woman behind the convenience store counter immediately said, "The American Legion."

"Fabulous," I said. "How do we get there?"

"Hmm. I've lived here since I was born, but I don't know street names," she said. Then she shouted over to Bob in the gun store for him to come out and give me directions.

Bob sauntered around the corner, looked me up and down (I will not describe my outfit because I've been camping and eating licorice and am disgusting) and said, "Are you familiar with town?"

I said, "No, Bob. I am coming from Chicago and am not familiar with 'town.' I cannot eat one more sandwich from the cooler in the backseat of Jeepy, though, so please, direct me to pizza."

Bob gave me the directions, I ran out to Dr J., and we actually found the place without help from the GPS. No joke, the pizza place is the actual American Legion building in town. There is no sign to indicate this, so we parked the menagerie and trusted the locals. As soon as we opened the door to this deserted-looking place, we could smell the pizza. We followed our noses down a set of unmarked stairs, past a makeshift blood drive, and through some doors into a magical place. A BAR. With actual people in it, all of whom swiveled their chairs around to check out the noobs.

There is nothing like a local establishment to make you feel completely out of place. No matter. We ordered pizza to go and two Budweisers to drink while we waited. We even got to see a bit of Game 4 of Lord Stanley's Cup series (Go Canucks!) and feel a bit of normalcy returning. That place was awesome and it almost makes me want to move to... Big Timber (I keep forgetting where I am) to go there again. That's probably just because I don't want to experience the mountains tomorrow.

And if you were wondering, the pizza was totally worth driving 18 miles out of the way.

Today's license plates:
1. Utah
2. Virginny
3. New Joisey
4. New Mexico
5. Nevada
6. Georgia
7. New York
8. Mississippi
9. South Carolina

Can you believe it? We only need five more license plates to have seen a car from every state in this wonderful nation. God bless President Eisenhower and his Interstate system.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Two Words: Wind Advisory

Lessons Learned from Last Night:
1. An electric campsite does not mean a standard outlet. We fumbled around in the dark trying to find a flashlight and make Plan B for getting comfy in the heat well after 10 p.m. No electric means no fan. Thankfully there was a breeze, which we enjoyed on the edge of safety by sleeping in our undies with all the windows open and the screen door unlocked.
At least the beers were cold.

2. Elton John does not want me to lay him down in sheets of leather. They are sheets of linen. LINEN.
3. My lower back will start to spasm the morning after nine hours in the car the day before.
Today involved over 500 miles of mind-numbing Minnesota and most of South Dakota. Here are some interesting facts about speed limits. In IL and WI, the limits are 65. We managed about that speed. In MN and SD, the limits are 70 and 75 respectively. Our actual speed today was between 50 and 55 in both states. When the winds are from the south and gusting to 40 mph, The Glamper gets unruly and needs to get her walker out.
The biggest news of today is that we were able to pass two other vehicles. Just after lunch, we passed a GMC minivan from Wisconsin. Dr. J. said it made him feel good. Later in the afternoon, we passed a giant RV pulling a trailer all the way from Florida. Don't get me wrong folks, there were people on the roads today. They were all just passing us.
Today's List of License Plates:
1. Wyoming
2. North Dakota
3. Oregon
4. Arizona
5. South Dakota
6. Colorado
7. Washington (high five!)
8. Iowa
9. Texas
10. California
11. Alaska
12. Oklahoma (sing it!)
13. Michigan
14. Nebraska
15. Louisiana
16. Ohio
17. Tennessee
18. Kansas
19. Maryland
20. Kentucky
21. Idaho
22. Wyoming
23. Kansas
24. Florida
25. North Carolina
26. New Hampshire
27. Alabama

For those keeping track at home, we have seen 36 of the 50 license plates in the last two days. We've seen some Canadian plates, too, but those don't count.

Finally, here is the attraction we missed out on:
National Museum of Woodcarving - Where Wood Comes Alive

Monday, June 6, 2011

I Heart Acepromazine (25 MG and 12.5 MG)

The house in Waukegan is closed up and cleaner than it's been since we moved in. "B" the Realtor is in charge of putting a good renter in it, and preferably before the next mortgage payment is due.

The Glamper was backed ably down the long and winding driveway by Dr. J. Due to the close proximity to our house's back steps and kitchen wall, and to the neighbor's central air unit, and to some question of how to make The Glamper do what we want it to, it only took 30 minutes to go 100 feet. By my calculations, that is 3.33 feet per minute and one year of my life. Dr. J. concurs with these estimates.

We pulled out of our Midwestern town near Lake Michigan at 1:20 p.m. and ran just a few important errands:
  • Purchase a styrofoam cooler and some ice? Check.
  • Stop at the bank to cash in $35 in pennies? Check.
  • Pull into Burlington RV to install one missing lug? Check.
Aaaaaaaand... then we were really off. At 60 mph.
As I write this, it's 8:48 p.m. The day's activities have been significantly enhanced and smoothed by the presence of Acepromazine in the fur kids' systems--25 MG for Pickles and Tiny, and 12.5 MG for Ollie. The dogs are quietly sleeping in their respective cages in Jeepy's way back, and if Ollie is screaming in the Glamper (per usual), we are blissfully unaware of it. Seriously, though, we check on him at all the stops and he appears to be comfortable.
Today's license plates:
  • Illinos
  • Wisconsin
  • Minnesota
  • Connecticut
  • Missouri
  • New York
  • Indiana
  • West Virginny
  • Pennsylvania
Today's temps: Started at 80, got to 100, now at 86. (And the sun is down.)

Points of interest we wish we had visited: Adult Novelties and Bakery on I-90 in Wisconsin.

Smells we didn't need: Something over the city of LaCrosse. We thought one of the dogs had pooed.
****
Updates made 6/7/11:

Monday's mileage: 380, ending at Albert Lea KOA in Minnesota

Things we wish we had done: Spam Factory tour

Open observation: There is nothing eerier than a field of windmills at dusk.

Open questions:
1. What goes on at the Hormel Institute?
2. Do the students at the Hormel Institute play in the same collegiate division as those at the Ponds Institute?